Tips about losing your pet (if your pet has passed away recently)

Pet Dog - Tips on Dealing with Grief Article

Where do I start? Oh my goodness, this is a really sad time in our lives and when your pet dog dies, it is just as severe, if not worse than losing a member of your family. I myself, get so attached to my beloved dogs and when it comes time for them to leave us, it is the hardest moment of our lives (in my family). I am writing this article because I believe that it is so important that we move through the process. Your mind, your deeper subconscious inner mind (that holds all the memories) is so powerful and with the power of your own subconscious inner mind, you can heal yourself from this difficult process of loss and grief much quicker if you move through it. Doing meditations will certainly help you get through this difficult time. 

Never deny the negative emotions that you feel over the loss of your pet. It is so important to move through them, feel these emotions, release them, move through them. Because it is when we can move through them, we can set them free, so that we are once again, free, with an open heart. And know that when you release the negative feelings, you are only doing that, releasing the negative feelings and your dog (in spirit) stays with you, in your heart forever. (You can buy my Grief Meditation Download here, Dealing with the Loss of Your Dog, to help you heal through this difficult time)

Any of this information in this article is not to replace any doctors advice. 

If you are needing comfort right now, I am a meditation teacher and clinical hypnotherapist and have made this perfect digital download to listen to in order to help you get through this tough time of loss, grief, regret, blame, anger, frustration or whatever the negative feelings are that you holding on to. It is important to release them, in order to recover and move forward. Click here to access my download here. 

Here are some tips about losing your pet or if your pet has passed away recently, to help you move through the process

Anyone who considers a pet a beloved friend, companion, or family member knows the intense pain that accompanies the loss of that little special canine friend. Following are some tips on coping with that grief, and with the difficult decisions one faces upon the loss of a pet.

1. Why do I feel so bad?

Severe grief and the negative feelings and emotions that come with it, over the loss of a pet is normal and natural. If you feel silly, don't worry as this is just normal and your emotions are going through change right now. When your dog was with you, it was habit having them around all the time. We tend to get addicted to them, and this is very similar to having an addiction such as as addiction to smoking or sugar and then having to give it up. Hang in there, it will get easier with time. 

The moments with your pet dog became a significant and constant part of your life. It was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. You may feel devastated now, however it will get easier and if you purchase and listen to my 28 minute guided meditation download (Grief Meditation Download Dealing with the Loss of your Dog), this should help you move through it much quicker. Listen to it every day, or whenever you feel the need. I am a meditation and mindfulness teacher and hypnotherapist and I put this together to help others move through this difficult process and if I can help just one person, my job is done. Be warned, the download will more than likely make you cry, but you need to cry at this time in order to let out your negative emotions, in order to heal. Never hold the tears back. It is so important to heal right now. 

People are not all pet lovers and may not understand the bond you had with your pet or the pain you are going through at the moment and soon after your pet passes away. All that matters, however, is how you feel. Don't let others dictate your feelings: Have this knowing that you are not alone and that it is normal to be going through what you are going through right now. It will get better, have trust and faith. 

2. Negative Emotions that you will feel over the next few days, months..

We are all different in the way that we feel and some emotions that come up for you over the next coming days and months will be different to how others handle this process. Here is a list of some of the differing negative emotions that you may feel:

  • Guilt or blame may occur if you feel responsible for your pet's death. Negative thoughts such as: "if only I had been more careful" syndrome. It is pointless and often wrong to burden yourself with guilt for the accident or illness that claimed your pet's life, and only makes it more complicated to resolve your grief.
  • Frustration makes it hard to move through this process as you may so agitated by not having your pet around anymore, or annoyed by the circumstance. Take a long deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth and come back into the now, the present, when you feel this negative emotion of frustration come upon you. Keep busy. 
  • Denial. When we go into this phase of denial, it makes it really hard to fathom that our loved ones are really not with us anymore. Little things like coming home from work and your pet dog is not there to greet you. Just have this knowing that your pet is in a beautiful place in heaven. Trust it, believe and have faith. Start thinking outside the box and not just looking at the air and space in the box. 
  • Anger may be directed at the circumstance in your situation such as the negligent driver, the illness that caused your puppy's death or the veterinarian that you believe may have been negligent. Try not to be distracted by these negative thoughts, wipe them away when they come up by deep breathing exercises. Try to focus on only happy thoughts of your pet and the wonderful times you had together. 
  • Depression is natural after such an extreme phase in your life and just try to move through it, keep busy. If you wish to have a cry, do it. Crying is releasing negative emotions such as depression and it is so important to cry through this process. Try not to dwell on it, and if you feel the need to cry, just know that this is completely normal and you need to cry in order to release the negative emotion. You need to feel the emotions in order to move through them, to set them free, so that you can be free again, full of love again. When your dog dies, your heart closes and it is so important to move through this phase and open your heart up again, release, release. 

3. How can I move through this so that I feel better?

When those negative emotions come up, be honest with them, know that they are there. Do not ignore them, feel it. Don't deny your pain, or your negative feelings of anger and guilt. Because when we deny them, we hold onto them, and when we hold onto those awful emotions, we start to create negative blocks which can have physical impacts on your body later on. So it is so important now to just move through this process. Examine your feelings, accept your feelings and if you cant accept right now, try to tolerate them. And once you can tolerate them, you begin to work through them.

We feel pain and grief as a normal process. Unfortunately we need to experience pain and grief in order to evolve, to learn, to experience and we are all here on this planet to learn, evolve and experience different emotions, different thoughts. Someone you loved has died, and you feel alone and bereaved. You have a right to feel this way and you also have a right to feel other negative emotions such as anger and guilt too. Acknowledge your feelings first, then ask yourself whether the circumstances actually justify them. More than likely it does. And if you need to cry, cry and move through it. Buy (Grief Meditation, Dealing with the Loss of Your Dog here). It truly is magical and may help the process move much quicker. You will experience the pain, you need to, in order to move through it, you need to cry, but this download is so beautiful and should help your process to be much easier. And if you have a friend or loved one that is going through this negative process of grief from the death of their dog, this guided meditation download is a perfect gift idea. 

Never close up and block others out, or hold in those negative emotions of grief. Get it out, talk about it, cry, go for a run or a long walk when you feel the need to just get it out, scream in the car when you are travelling on the motorway, this helps you get it all out, all that frustration, anger, blame, hurt, regret, sadness, guilt, when it comes up, get it all out. Do what you feel helps you the most. Don't try to avoid grief by not thinking about your pet because it is so important to remember the wonderful times, to reminisce about the good times. This will help you understand what your pet's loss actually means to you. This will help you be more grateful and hold onto that gratitude that you have for the times you shared with your loved one. 

Write it down: I actually ask my angels, my guides and those of the highest good to keep me in touch with my pet through spirit. This is a very powerful activity that I am about to share with you. Write down (always with your opposing hand, as what this does is opens up the right brain, that side of your brain that is your spiritual, creative side that is in touch with your intuition. Write down what you need to express and express your memories and feelings through some type of poems, stories, or letters to your pet animal.

4. Rearrange your schedule or roster

Change the pattern of those times in the day that you spent with your pet for example, after work where you would greet your pet and go and take him or her for a walk. Start doing it differently so that you do not walk into the house at the same time, try to change your schedule, your habits to perhaps going straight to the gym after work instead.  Just until you can adapt to going home at that time again. This is just one example but basically change your pattern of living around so that you are not reminded of your pet constantly. Just until you are strong enough to move through it. And if this is inevitable and you need to follow the same patterns, then I highly recommend listening to this meditation audio about grief and loss of your pet.

4. Where do I find help?

If your family or friends love pets, they'll understand what you're going through. Don't hide your feelings in a misguided effort to appear strong and calm! Open up to your true authentic feelings right now and if you cannot find some kind of happiness in times to come than it might be a good idea to seek out a Councillor for guidance. Working through your feelings with another person is one of the best ways to put them in perspective and find ways to handle them. Find someone you can talk to about how much the pet meant to you and how much you miss your little loved one. Spend time with those that you feel comfortable crying and grieving with.

You could even ask your veterinarian or humane association to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group, they are usually aware of this kind of person or help. Check with your church or hospital for grief counseling. Remember, this is a normal process and ask for help wherever you can, if needed. This meditation audio download is a great way to move through your feelings, yourself. 

5. When is the right time to euthanize my dog?

This kind of advice is best to be given by the experts such as your veterinarian. Your vet is the best judge of your pet's physical condition; however, you are the best judge of the quality of your pet's daily life. If a pet has a good appetite, responds to attention, seeks its owner's company, and participates in play or family life, many owners feel that this is not the time. However, if a pet is in constant pain, undergoing difficult and stressful treatments that aren't helping greatly, unresponsive to affection, unaware of its surroundings, and uninterested in life, a caring pet owner will probably choose to end the beloved companion's suffering. Know that when your pet does pass over, they are in a much peaceful place in heaven, where there is no pain or suffering anymore and know that they are always in your heart, forever. 

 6. Should I stay during euthanasia?

I believe it is important to stay around if you are able to be with your pet. I could not be there when I lost my beautiful cat of 15 years, and this completely devastated me for quite some time. I know that if I was there with her, the process of grief would have been much easier. But sometimes this cannot be helped and we need not blame ourselves for this. If your pet runs away or stays and does not come home, know that this is no reflection on you, and never blame yourself.

However, everyone is different and the thought of being around when this time comes, when it is time for them to pass, is not on a lot of people's radar.

Some feel relief and comfort themselves by staying: I will tell you a little story that happened recently with a colleague of mine. Her dog recently passed through illness and just before he died, my colleague lit a candle in honor of her dog. (Ironically, it was one of the candles I had made, as I am a candle maker too. You can see my candle collection here). As he was euthanized by the vet in their house and as he passed away, the candle too burned out, at exactly the same time. This experience is the greatest sign that when your animal dies, they go into a transitional phase of passing over and I truly believe that the candle flame burns out yes, but that lights a flame in your heart, that pain you get in your heart and then moves into a transitional process of that loved one of yours always being a 'spark' of your soul. Following you, guiding you, loving you wherever you go. They will always be with you, they will always be a part of you.  So whether you see them die or not, it is completely up to you, and just have this knowing that whether you are there or not, they will always be in your heart as this 'spark' of your soul. 

 

7. What do I do next?

When a pet dies, you must choose how to handle its remains. Sometimes, in the midst of grief, it may seem easiest to leave the pet at the clinic for disposal. Check with your clinic to find out whether there is a fee for such disposal. Some shelters also accept such remains, though many charge a fee for disposal.

To many, a pet cemetery provides a sense of dignity, security, and permanence. Owners appreciate the serene surroundings and care of the grave site. Cemetery costs vary depending on the services you select, as well as upon the type of pet you have. Cremation is a less expensive option that allows you to handle your pet's remains in a variety of ways: bury them (even in the city), scatter them in a favorite location, place them in a cremation box or even keep them with you in a decorative urn (of which a wide variety are available). We have cremation boxes of all of our pets with us in our bedroom and it makes it easier for us to accept that they are always with us, never far away. 

Check with your veterinarian, pet shop, or phone directory for options available in your area. Consider your living situation, personal and religious values, finances, and future plans when making your decision. It's also wise to make such plans in advance, rather than hurriedly in the midst of grief.

8. What should I tell my children?

You are the best judge of how much information your children can handle about death and the loss of their pet. Don't underestimate them, however. You may find that, by being honest with them about your pet's loss, you may be able to address some fears and misconceptions they have about death. Remember children's minds are like sponges, and they take on board everything we say, even when we think they are not listening. 

Honesty is important. If you say the pet was "put to sleep," make sure your children understand the difference between death and ordinary sleep. Never say the pet "went away," or your child may wonder what he or she did to make it leave, and wait in anguish for its return. That also makes it harder for a child to accept a new pet. Make it clear that the pet will not come back, but that it is happy and free of pain.

Never assume a child is too young or too old to grieve. Never criticize a child for tears, or tell them to "be strong" or not to feel sad. Be honest about your own sorrow; don't try to hide it, or children may feel required to hide their grief as well. Discuss the issue with the entire family, and give everyone a chance to work through their grief at their own pace.

9. Will my other pets grieve?

Pets observe every change in a household, and are bound to notice the absence of a companion. Pets often form strong attachments to one another, and the survivor of such a pair may seem to grieve for its companion. Cats grieve for dogs, and dogs for cats. They are all different. I know that our two little canine companions are inseparable however when our little girl dog, Ella-May had to go into hospital with pancreatitis for ten days we thought our little boy dog, her soul mate, Buddy-Jewell, would just about die of loneliness. However he was the complete opposite and loved being the center of attention in the family for a while, as normally the love is shared around! So all dogs are different and just go with whatever works and don't worry yourself about your other pets grieving. Deal with it as it happens. Most importantly, show them lots and lots of love and affection. Dogs are here to bring us love and we too in return need to show them an abundance of love and kindness. On this topic, I too believe that the more love that we show our animals, the more chance they have of being reincarnated as humans in their next life. They too are on a learning, evolving, experiencing journey and the closer they get to the beautiful vibration of love, the higher their vibration. 

 

10. Should I get a new pet right away?

Whatever you 'feel' the universe brings, go with it. I am a hypnotherapist and know that we can heal our heart instantly all with the power of our own mind. I see it every day! I am a huge animal lover and donate 5% of all of my ZenGifts.com.au sales to animal charities. So I am all 'for' having a dog right away as long as you feel ready. Never look at it as you are replacing your dog that has passed, because is not the case. All animals are different and come into our lives with much differing personalities and there is no way you could replace your dog. It is not possible, because each one is so unique to the other. Think of it as giving a chance to another animal, not replacing. 

Don't give up the chance of helping another animal because if we all had the attitude of 'My heart is broken too much to have another dog. I am never having another dog again!' If we all had this way of thinking, their would not be enough homes to help these homeless animals in our world. There is a shortage of homes that can relocate and care for stray dogs in this world already (not to mention, cats). So, have gratitude for the times you had together, bring yourself into the 'now' when you feel negative thoughts, move through it with deep breaths, try to recover quickly, move through the grief, and never close your heart. Open up your heart again and a way of doing this, is to get another dog.

When you decide never to have another dog because you cannot go through that process again, this is fine, but just be aware that you are closing your heart with thinegative belief, you are giving up. Instead of moving through the process and removing all the negative beliefs around this negative time in your life. Move it on, be free again, then you can help again. Wouldn't it be nice to help another dog grow and learn? Help yourself open your heart with love of a pet, because pets bring us 'love' and joy. 

Dogs bring some much love, joy and happiness into our lives and don't let losses of the past, stop you from having more love, joy and happiness. Your little dog would have loved you to be happy, right?

A new pet should be acquired because you are ready to move forward and build a new relationship rather than looking backward and mourning your loss. When you are ready, select an animal with whom you can build another long, loving relationship with, because this is what having a pet is all about! Its all part of the healing process! Pets bring us love, joy and happiness!

I hope this article has helped you, even a little. If you are looking at meditation to help you through this process, my guided meditations are available here.

I make personalized candles and a custom made candle for your pet may just be the thing you are looking for to help you get through this process. Buy custom made soy candle here.  By lighting a candle every day, and saying a prayer of thoughts to your pet, as you light, bring your pet in, is a way of coming closer to your pet in spirit and a way of moving through the grief process. 

I also have many other beautiful zen gift ideas in my online gift store. Ideal gifts for birthdays, weddings, Christmas, events, baby and more. Check it out, we also do many personalised gifts too such as hand crafted signs and candles with your very own candle label.

Sometimes having a designated candle for your pet, and lighting that candle every day, can help you move through the process. Shop or Buy our Personalised Candle Ideas here.   At ZenGifts, we can customize your sign or candle label to say whatever you wish to say. Words are so powerful, you are so powerful and you will get through this! 

From my heart to yours,

Tara. J. Clarke

Clinical Hypnotherapist

Meditation Teacher

Chakra Energy Healer

Spiritual Guide 

Owner Creator of:

ZenGifts.com.au and AHealthyMindset.com

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